Blood on my hands

Running round in circles, i cant seem to find an exit... i hear breathing, hard and heavy, i think he is closing in on me, where would i hide? he shouldnt find me, nooo, he cant find me,....blood everywhere, blood on my hands... He is coming, i have to find, oh my God, dont hurt me please, i didnt know, i was barely a child myself......

I woke up startled, sweat dripping all over my face, my sheets were soaked, not again, not the same dream again,luckily this time Mark is still fast asleep, looking at his innocent face brought smiles to my face, he sleeps so sweetly.  i need a drink of water, i unconsciously checked my hands to see if they were  stained with blood, i cant stop the dreams, the guy who is always in my dreams trying to hurt me, the blood on my hands..

1991

Rantiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,where is this child...you are going to make me late...,I heard my mum scream my name from downstairs, she needs to drop me off at school, I do not like my school,rich spoilt wannabes, but my mum insisted that I roll with the creames of the society especially Biggie whose Dad is the petroleum minister, I think her dad helps my mum secure contracts. I came down the stairs to see my mum glaring at me.....what the hell are you wearing on your feet? Where is the shoe I got you? Your plan is to disgrace me abi?

When my mum starts yapping, I pretend I am in Disney land so I shut her out...Tonight Biggie is having a sweet sixteen party and I have to be there, I don't want to be there, I won't to be home with Tobi my brother whom I love dearly...

Walking into Biggie's house I felt my stomach sink to the lowest parts of my being, Lara, jumoke,Cynthia and co, all the wannabes are there..

Ranti babes... What are you wearing for the party?Biggie asked, it's in the car, I am wearing the ball gown I wore to church last week...over my dead body will you look like a church girl on my birthday so I have taken the liberty of shopping for you, all my friends are wear denim on denim bum shorts and I got yours. Biggie dragged me into her room for me to try it on, after wearing it I kept glancing at myself in the mirror, I felt sexy, I am 15 with a big bum(curtesy of my mum)..

We came downstairs to meet a full hall,boys from our school,Biggie's elder brother and his friends were around,

Girls were swooning over Biggie's brother and his friends(secondary school girls always do that) but one of them kept staring at me... I heard my mother's voice in my head...Ranti don't let any oshi rada rada Omo ale to touch you oh,you will get pregnant and I will send you to the village to maami before you bring shame to this family.

I went to a corner to sit cos I honestly do not want to be here with all the wannabes...

Ranti what are you doing there? Biggie asked?my brother's friend is asking about you,I think he likes you oh,don't dull yourself oh,Tunde,s father controls NNPC,and my friends must roll with the rich or they seize to be my friends,I turned to her, I don't feel okay and my stomach is kinda queasy...she shoved a red cup into my hands and told me to drink in one gulp, I obeyed, I felt a burning sensation in my throat,Biggie this is alcohol I said in horror.. Ehen don't you feel better she quipped.. Now go upstairs and have a conversation with Tunde,he is waiting for you, don't be nasty,smile and say I would love to be your girlfriend you hear????

I climbed the stairs with dread at the same time excitement,no boy has shown interest in me talk more of an undergrad with a loaded popsy...my mum will be proud of me..

I opened Biggie's room to see him standing there,he looks cute but something is off about him, he looks drunk,he smiled at me and told me to come close, I moved towards him with trepidation but I moved closer,he told me to turn around and I could see he was smacking his lips, I watched him look at me with glazed eyes, at my age I knew what that look was,I told him I needed to get something downstairs but he blocked the door and shoved me to the bed,I started screaming but no one could here me cos the music was loud,he grabbed my tshirt and tore it and held my hands to the bed still trying to unbutton my shorts,it wasn't bulging so he left my hands to use both his hands to unbutton my bum shorts,with all the strength I could muster,I shoved him so hard that he hit his head on the wardrobe handle..

I was raged I picked one of Biggie's high heel slippers and kept hitting him on the head, I didn't notice the blood splattered on my face arms and hand, I just continued hitting till I could not hit him anymore, I rolled under the bed and remained there for God knows how long.

I heard the door open and heard screams but I was in Disney land,I couldn't think I just stared until I saw a set of eyes under the bed that looked familiar,it was my Dad,he dragged me out and I hugged him like my life depended on it..

Later I was told Tunde died from the excessive hit to the head with the high heel slippers and both family agreed it was in self Defence.

I was home schooled for the rest of my high school cos I was afraid to leave my house.. I had a shrink who had sessions with me to help me overcome the trauma..

The dreams have been with me since I was 15,I am married to the sweetest man...I met Mark in Cadiff when I went to the university,we got married in the UK and for awhile my dreams stopped...We recently moved back to Nigeria and my dreams are back...

 Oh My God,what do I do, should I tell Mark? As I sip my water, a hand held me from the back..I was so startled I dropped my water...Honey are you alright? You look white as death.....

Watch out for part 2....

What the eyes cannot see

I had a rough day at work and all I wanted was something stiff and strong, I got into Priceless, a pub just by the corner of my apartment, I wondered why it was called Priceless, anyway I sat at the farthest side of the bar and wanted to be alone with my thoughts, I ordered, closed my eyes and when I opened my eyes, I saw I had company, what now, can't a girl be left alone, he smiled like he heard me, my name is Sean he said, Hi Sean, I am Alaba, African he said, fresh, teach me how to pronounce it, he was looking straight at me like he could see my soul, I obliged him, I love your rich laughter he said, I smiled, he said innocent smile, I blushed..
And he asked Why are you so heavy, how did you know that, I chimed, I could feel it he said, I narrated my whole day, and he listened, you have got that resolute in your voice, never lose it he said,  you should smile more, brings out that warm glow.... I was actually smiling, feeling so much better only for me to hear someone calling, Sean, Sean I am ready, another guy walked in with a cane, handed Sean the cane, apologised for the disturbance, that was when I realised, Sean was blind ........

Revenge served cold

Light Camera Action..... I started with my pose, today's photoshoot might be my longest but I  prepared to do this, I was born to do this, or so I tell myself every morning to keep me motivated for another day... Let me introduce myself, my name is Peace Ambrose and I am from the South South side of Nigeria, I am a dark complexioned 6.2 ,size 4 model and I am doing a professional shoot for a beer commercial.... I hear someone say Fab life??? You think??????
I am the first of 6 siblings, I could not get the education I want cos my family could not afford it but I'll be damned if I cannot give my younger ones the kind of education I couldn't get, anyway my parents didn't leave me with entirely nothing...... You see I am.the kind of girl people turn back to look at more than once, men and women inclusive, my skin is vibrant rich golden brown, my face chiselled in the right places and for a tall girl I have got curves for days so I know when I say I wasn't left without nothing..

After the shoot I will be heading to the island, I hear he is in town, the plan is to make sure he falls in love with me....
I have had this plan since I was 14..... everyday I put one line to the plan till I can get the whole piece together... He will pay...

Amin we have to go bulk wide and breathless before they marry you off to one innocent hausa girl, I laughed at my friend Chinedu who has given himself the obligation to dirty me up before I get married, 4 years studying in the US didn't do that, I wonder how 'one night will do that.. Chinedu I love Hawa with my body and soul, cheating on her will be like death, don't worry Amin, didn't say cheat, just enjoy the night, my dawg Bayo is shooting an ad for a beer company on the island and he said the girls are maaaaaad gorgeous so we will be hanging out with them, Chinedu, seriously???? Models are empty brains, how am I going to have a decent conversation? Chinedu chipped in, Cool down Einstein and enjoy the evening...

I hear he likes them intelligent, he is clean, loves his fiancee and likes them looking innocent, I looked myself over in the mirror, I don't look slutty do I???  No I don't, nothing overtly sexy, barely wear make up and had my natural hair in a bun, my really long hair, intend to let it loose when we are having a conversation and see his eyes when I say its all mine. I have done my research and I am ready.
Knock knock knock, Peace are you ready?  Bayo the magot that got me this gig that is so beneath me, he doesn't even have a clue that it was all in my plan.
I opened the door and I could literally hear him gasp for breathe..
The other girls will be so jealous he said, don't be silly Bayo I said with a smile , the other girls are really pretty...

Immediately we got into Escape, I sighted him, never forgot that look, the features, it didn't change.. I continued walking and I knew they had sighted us,I didn't want to be grouped with the other girls so I broke out and walked to the bar..
As suspected the other guys acted like kids in a candy store while he was so disinterested, and was looking for the one that broke out of the group, I sighted him from my hindsight, Peace, time to get your game on, he came straight to where I was sitting and ordered a shot of Vodka, gave me a nod, I looked up, smiled shyly and continued reading a bogus page I had opened on google, when I noticed he was just standing there and didn't know how to start a convo, I turned and asked him? Do you why women are fighting for gender equality in Nigeria? He was taken aback,
Erm erm... I laughed innocently, yes I am with Bayo and yes I am a model and no I am not dumb.. he eased up and we laughed and talked and talked and didn't know when time ran by... I wanted that impact and I slowly removed the bobby pin from my hair and I could see the look on his face when my hair fell down covering my face to my shoulder down to my back, yessssssssssssssssssss the exact effect I wanted, he gasped, is that all yours? I said with feigned surprise, oh my, where is my pin, yea they are all mine, I saw his rising, I knew I had hit the mark. I have to go now, whats your name? Didn't catch it? Oh my name is Amin, mine is Peace I said in feigned hurry,  Peace can I walk you to get a taxi or something, my heart smiled, I got him alright, oh don't bother Amin, my car is here, we walked to the car park not saying a word, then he saw my car, he was like wow... you must be an A list model, I smiled, we exchanged numbers and I zoomed off..
Peace, step1of your plan,activated, did he bite the bait???  I would have to.wait..

AMIN

Amin you just disappeared sha, guys just they look for you everywhere abi you follow chic waka??? Chinedu teased me, I smiled, I was with someone who broke my model stereotype, looking at her number, flashback to her effortless laughter, her slender arms, my goodness her hair, her mind, intellect, she is sexy.... now mind reset, Hawa is waiting.

PEACE

Its 3 weeks and not a word from Amin, I saw all the signs, I thought I had him...
I have to find a way..  mummy pls help me with my homework... Ahhhhh forgot to mention I have a 9 year old Son, the pride of my life. I had him when I was 14, quite young but story for another day..
I have to restrategise, the hook on Amin didnt work...

AMIN

Amin Amin... I could hear Hawa's voice from a distance, Amin Menini fa?  You have been distant? Are you ok? You don't want to marry me? Hawa how can you say that? Why won't I? You keep smiling to yourself, you talk about gender equality, u are so distant, should I be worried?
Nothing to worry about my dear, at the same time He made up his mind to WhatsApp Peace, he cant ignore his feelings forever.
That night he fiddled with his phone so much he thought he would chicken out...

Amin: Hi Peace, its Amin
Amin: the guy you met at the club?
Amin: we talked about gender equality etc
Peace: oh my goodness, been awhile
Amin: Didn't want to disturb you
Amin: Didn't want your man to beat me up
Peace: No man so don't worry your head

It went on till the next morning, Peace felt satisfied, it worked her hooked worked.

Amin started to spend time with Peace, he met her son, he was in Lagos every other week, they became an item.

My plan is going so smoothly, he didn't recognise me, its time to play the joker.

AMIN

I want you to meet my parents in Kaduna. They want to meet the girl who stole their son's heart, they haven't forgiven me for breaking Hawa's heart.
Sure I agreed, its time.. I was ready..
I packed my bag and that of my Son and we got to the airport and off to Kaduna.

PEACE
Amin was at the airport, he had the brightest smile and I was sad, I have come to respect him, I cannot say love because the quest for revenge far outweighs the feeling called Love.
We got to Amin's family house, just as imagined, grande, palatial...
We were ushered into our chambers to freshen up, I had a panic attack, I wish I could chicken out, but I have been planning this for almost 9  years, I cannot chicken out now.
I took my time to dress up, I knew the colours to accentuate my skin tone and my figure, after dressing I knew I was breathtaking.
I sent my son downstairs for the dinner but I wanted to make a grand appearance, I wasn't hungry, it was the moment I have been waiting for. When the butler came for me, I asked if everyone was there including Amin's parents, he said yes.
I made my way down the stairs and I could hear breathless gasps, with the corner of my eye I could see Amin smiling from ear to ear...
Finally full frontal glare, I could see the colour drain from his face, HE RECOGNISED ME.......

Finally it is so nice to meet you all, I could see Amin's confused face, I looked at his mother, Mrs Ahmed, you don't recognise me? I thought I haven't changed a bit cos your husband recognised me immediately.
I am the daughter of Mr Ambrose, the gardener that worked in your house on gerald road ikoyi, remember me now???
Oh my word, Peace is that you? How is your father? Such a small world, very hardworking man, and your mum?
How are they?
Both my parents are late, they died.
I have come to tell you a story, from 9 years ago, while you were on one of your Dubai trips, I was home alone in the boys quarters where my parents stayed in your compound, I was done with my SSCE, waiting for my results, I was a bright student and at 14 I knew what I wanted to become, Mr Ahmed had my father go on an errand and requested he ask me to clean the front court yard, I was busy doing that when I heard my name, your husband called me into his room, closed the door and raped me, countless times, my father banged the door cos he heard my screams but your husband, I looked straight at Amin, your father kept me locked and raped me all day till he had his fill, pushed me out and warned my father that if any of it got out, my father was as good as dead.

A month passed and I started vomiting, I was pregnant, instead of your husband to own up, he sacked my dad and threw him out, with no where to go, my mother couldn't bear it, she fell so ill and died while my dad passed on 2 years later of grief, leaving me to fend for 5 siblings and my son who by the way is Ahmed your son, your brother Amin.

I had planned this for 9 years and could  not wait to take away something so precious from you. I am sorry Amin, you were just a tool I used in d scheme to humiliate your Father.

I held the hand of my son, walked upstairs to pack our bags, I knew my revenge was complete, I could hear the uproar, the chaos and I smiled.

Blue dapper

https://houseofnefertiti.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/light-blue-suit-anyone/?preview=true

Shirt dress Wednessday

https://houseofnefertiti.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/shirt-dress-wednessday/?preview=true

https://houseofnefertiti.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/cool-sunday/?preview=true

Daydream

https://houseofnefertiti.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/dairy-of-a-working-class-lagos-chic/?preview=true